Is a Joke Ever "Just a Joke?"

It is said that for every joke there will always be someone who is offended. But what if the joke offends someone who is part of a group that is commonly subjected to discrimination? When does an edgy joke become discriminatory? Jokes that are anti-semitic, homophobic, sexist, and racist are commonly thrown around by teenagers amongst their friends. In most cases, these jokes are not ill intended, but does that matter? The idea of a 16-year old innocently, even naively, quipping, “that’s gay,” puts into question whether intent supersedes content.

When told to stop making discriminatory jokes, the frequent rebuttal from teens is, “but I didn’t mean it!” The problem is that that response implies that the consequences of the joke do not matter, only the joker’s intention. The result is a projection of sorts as the offender is now the offended —the subtext of the response being, “How could you imply such a thing!?.” One can draw a parallel between this scenario with the experiences of victims of sexual abuse. They are often made to feel as if they are to blame for their own victimhood — if only they had acted differently, dressed differently, not been where they were, their victimizer would not have committed the assault. These victims end up scarred for life, even if the sexual offender did not necessarily intend to hurt them. Hence, regardless of the seemingly harmless intentions behind a joke or comment, the potential harm it may inflict on others must be acknowledged.

In some instances, no one will be offended by comments that are made, but does that make them ok? To a certain extent, in specific circumstances edgy jokes can be acceptable. For example, professional comedians will sometimes playfully target audience members, or have lines that could offend certain demographics. While there should be a limit to what is acceptable, people attend those shows with the knowledge, and even an expectation, that they may be offended.

It’s common knowledge that kids and teens can be exceptionally cruel and thoughtless because, the reality is, they are still learning how to relate to others and developing as empathetic beings. So, they need to be taught early that it is not acceptable to joke at the expense of others’ dignity even if they have no conscious ill intent. Additionally, hearing discriminatory talk in an environment where it is not expected, can be shocking, even if not entirely offensive. Worse, the repeated use of discriminatory language amongst young friends can normalize it, which can lead to its use in much more consequential circumstances, such as at work, or amongst strangers where the “It was just a joke” excuse will not be enough to ameliorate a potentially very awkward and tense situation.

Eliminating discriminatory jokes from our society is an unrealistic and, arguably, unnecessary goal. However, it is important for kids to learn early and for people to understand that the intent behind a joke does not matter, all that does is its content. And because we can’t take ourselves too seriously all the time, in certain rare scenarios it may be okay to make jokes that have the potential to offend, but good judgment should always be used. When it comes to jokes and quips at the expense of others based on their race, ethnicity, religion, size, religion, gender or sexual orientation, they can never be considered “just a joke,” and discrimination is no laughing matter.